Hairy Brunch: Perrys DC

The ladies of Perry's

Wood paneling and demure decor @ Perry's

There are no pictures of food because Perrys is not known for their food. They are known for their drag queens. That sing, dance, serenade, lap dance and make fun of you as you eat your food.

That said, the food at Perrys drag brunch is delicious in the way that hangover food can only be- greasy bacon, cheesy eggs, buttery biscuits, sweet blueberry  muffins, fruit ( albeit a weak and pathetic looking fruit bowl that looked like it had been picked up a a nearby Giant only minutes before), fluffy tawny almond mousse, anise liquor soaked purple plums and California rolls- for breakfast. If the food had been any good, or better, it would have taken away from the true spectacle, which are the shimmying, shaking and sometimes fondling ladies.

Expectations of eating at a drag queen brunch conjured images of seedy strip club joints with dark lighting, neon signs, the stench of old cigarettes and roaches. However, the highly glossed wood paneled walls, green cushioned seats, plentiful natural outdoor lighting and demure and hipster decor at Perrys was a pleasant surprise- it looked like it was the usually stomping grounds of newly release church congregation eating in their Sunday best.

And in your Sunday best you had to be. Lest, the head drag queen accuse you of being a lesbian because you have a bad hair cut and dared to show up without make-up on. Clothes, hair, make-up, sexual identity, body shape and fake implants were all the subjects of the ladies’ humor- which had the patrons howling and crying. The poor victims whose misfortune it was to celebrate their birthday at Perrys were mercilessly ridiculed ( ” Lord, honey you are so skinny, go eat a sandwich and don’t you throw it back up…” or “once you go black, you’ll need a wheelchair…”) and then merrily asked to slip singles into “Momma’s” brassiere.

You’ll need some thick skin ( and a fat wallet and a good deal of patience because they don’t accept reservations on Sundays and the wait can be trying) at Perrys, but it is all fun and games- and the most fun way that I ever spent my birthday.

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